Soldiers, Marines and the Ladies that put up with this

The picture to the left is for "The General."  You know who you are.  Lt. Col. K. USMC stopped by again last night. He, the TIC and I had dinner at Chez D’FAC (Civilians: DFAC is armyspeak for Dining Facility aka Chow Hall) after I had introduced him to my Battalion Commander and they had a chance to exchange the secret Marine handshake. My battalion has many former Marines in it, and my Commander happens to be one of them. After dinner, we lit up cigars and continued to catch up. We talked a lot about our plans for when we got home. So far, these plans include but are not limited to: an expensive night at the Ritz with our wives, hunting trips, scuba diving, home improvement, kids, and other vacations to be determined later. We also talked about going back to our normal jobs and how weird it would be.   He left soon after as I had to go on a raid later that night, but I digress.

As we discussed the frequency with which we were able to talk to our wives, I began to think of what a uniquely trying experience this must be for them. He and I have both been active duty before, but were single at the time. We both met our wives and got married after having joined the Reserves. When we were on active duty, the guys who were married had their wives living there at or near the post with them. Their wives all knew each other, and both the post and the unit were communities unto themselves. Now, he and I have been living in the civilian world 95% of the time, only disappearing for our monthly weekend and two weeks every summer. We put on a uniform, leave on Friday with our car packed full of gear, and return Sunday night, filthy, stinking like livestock, with a car full of filthy gear and empty paper coffee cups. I suppose they may have initially thought it was something of a man’s hobby, like fishing or hunting. There is never the day to day acclimation to military life that the spouses of our full-time brethren get. We are just civilians with an odd part-time job on the side - that doesn’t pay much.

Then one day, we get attacked. War breaks out, and we are wondering when we are going to get "the call." We knew from the beginning that this one was going to be long and encompass many countries. Our wives, meanwhile, are left to worry about a call that seemingly never comes. Almost three years go by. We start thinking that they have forgotten about us as we continue to train every month. Then, lulled into complacency and plans for the future, the call comes. A few weeks later, husbands are gone, and life goes on all around them as if nothing has changed. There has been no grand send off, no speech, no locking of the barracks or meeting of the wives club as there have been at active installations nation-wide. They are the often the only ones they know in their neighborhood with a deployed husband. Many people are sympathetic, but few, if any can relate.

Our wives (Lt. Col. K’s, 2LT C’s, and mine) know each other, and have become closer friends throughout this period. We are glad that they have each other. Although each unit has a family support group, I suppose that it is hard to bond with a bunch of people you have never met just because your husbands have been called up. This is particularly the case for many Reservists who drill far from home. 2LT C. and I used to drive 310 miles each way every month. They are handling it well, though, with all of the grace and class that drew us to them in the first place.

Comments

[Cathy K.]

Greg:

Once again, you made my day! It's great to see photos of Trevor and have a reference point that he's still OK. Something I live each day for during deployment. This definitly cheered me up on one of my more trying days without Trevor's presence. You're right, life goes on and as wives of reservists, we are isolated and alone. Saying good-bye at 2am in the morning standing outside a building is not my idea of a send off. I feel fortunate to have Lucy and hope to get together with Lucy and Danna again soon. I can hold down the fort but look forward to Trevor's return. With all the car break downs, flooding, home repairs, & medical issues that arose while Trevor's been away, I realize how great it is to have him to share my life with during the good and bad times. I can't say enough how proud I am of you, Trevor and Russ, along with every other service member proudly serving our country at home and abroad.

God Bless,
"The General"

[Matthew Krappman]

That is beautiful, Greg.

[Lisa]

Greetings!
Just got directed your way by Hugh Hewitt.com as Mudville Gazette has rotated out. Once again, Hugh has not steered me wrong. I can already tell that I'll appreciate reading your blog.

Stay safe and thanks for all you do,
Smiles,
-Lisa

P.S. Unless it keeps you from putting food on the table or a roof over your family's head, it has been my observation [I'm not married] that you should always send flowers (or something) for v-day! Every woman who has ever said to me "I told him not to send flowers" always says "he never sends me flowers!. :-)

[ginny]

We often think to thank the men in the field. Thank you also to the women and children making the sacrifices at home.

[Katie]

Man, you are so cool...and so good with words. I really admire you Greg. You & Lucy are lucky to have each other. LYMYMI ;)

[Courtenay Wells]

Dear Greg,
PLEASE tell Trevor to lose the funny mustache!! I know the General agrees with me on this...
Love Courtenay, the annoying little sister

[g]

I'm actually a fan of the mustache.... but I'm not a blood relative, so Courtney probably trumps me.

Greg: two words: true class.

g

[brooklyn rooster]

I was brought up in a Lifer's family - my old man retired a Ltc. - Hope you're keeping your head down, but just thought you and your fellow soldiers should keep abreast of what your Commander in Chief is up to behind your backs.
This is from a posting of mine today. The story was reported in numerous palces this week as the President's budget is sifted through.
=================================================
Bush Budget Screws Veterans.
While raising bonuses with his right hand to people signing up and re-upping into the military, Bush with his left hand is taking away something a good many of our returning Veterans will need when they return. Help with their disabilities particularly help with housing.

Veterans with spinal cord injuries, missing limbs, etc. (wheel chair dependent).
Bush proposes stopping financing the construction of new housing for physically handicapped ands those with mental illness. This is just part of his 50% reduction in the housing budget for people with disabilities. This will not(yet)effect those Veterans that will have to be "warehoused" in Veterans facilities across the country, as was done during and for decades after the Vietnam War. Unfortunately some our returning Vets will be non-functioning vegetables.

The White House proposes issuing "vouchers" to the disabled; basically making them compete with able-bodied folks looking for section 8 housing. Section 8 housing does not address people with special concerns. Section just encourages landlords to take disadvantaged, like those families living in shelters. So if you are a Vet with a spinal cord injury, say with no use of your legs, you can now go head to head with an able bodied family without special needs for the same apartment. Why would the landlord take on a disabled vet or anyone for that matter? These people require ramps and god knows what other changes to the physical structure of the apartment and maybe even the actual building itself.

What would Jesus do, Mr. President? We know he never healed anyone, his deeds were just transcribed incorrectly. He actually was noted for maiming the poor, so they could be better positioned for begging. As it is written in Matthew 10:23,
"It is easier to give less to the least and therefore gain more for oneself."

[LT Parry]

Ahhhhh, what the heck: I know somebody Hugh links to. Well, that's it I guess I'm going to have to launch my blog, too. It will have to include my favorite picture of my wife and I which, oddly, came from YOUR wedding.

Nice job, sir!!!

FIDO 6

[mrupe]

Greyhawk sent me and I'm glad he did. I'll look forward to your posts.
Thanks to you and your families from me and mine.
I believe my girls are safer and have a better future because of the hard and dangerous work you all are doing.
There are alot of people in the blogosphere watching out for you guys. The moonbats are getting smacked around pretty good.
Keep us informed and let us know if we can help.

[Rach]

I am a former active duty wife, and now ANational Guard wife.....family support...ha! you hit the nail on the head. I do have my close friends also and thank God. I think the FSG here, has been weak, dramatic, and a petrie dish for rumors.......some like them others don't.
Found the blog via Mudville......
Thank you
Rach

[Bushwhacker]

Oops, sorry about the multiple pings, I kept getting an error message and resubmitted the ping. Now here they are, all THREE of them! My apologies.